Roses smell like poo

Just a shitload of Scrubs quotes really, enjoy:

Janitor: I swear on my unborn fishboy she will pay.

Dr.Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I do naive bubbleheaded optimists who walk around vomitting sunshine.

J.D.: Why are we lying in the parking lot?
Turk: Your hook shot knocked you unconscious and I lied down next to you so everybody would think we were chillin'.
J.D.: Oh. Thanks S.C.B. By the way I should tell you something. I found an apartment and I'm moving out the day after tomorrow.
Turk: Wow. What does S.C.B. mean?
J.D.: Super. Chocolate. Bear.
Turk: I love it.

Ted: And you know what else? I quit!
Dr. Kelso: No you don't!
Ted: Well I'm leaving early today!
Dr. Kelso: No, you're not! You're coming back to my office to do busy work!
Ted: Fine, but I'm getting a soda first!
Dr. Kelso: Whatever.

Kelso: Hey there Sport.
3-year-old Jack Cox: Your face is wrinkly.
Kelso: Yeah? Well that shirt your wearing is gay.

Med. Student: Dr. Jerk!
J.D.(to turk): Ohohoh.. she just called you Dr. Jerk!!
Turk: Well.. too bad you never heard what she said about Dr. Mickhead.
JD: What?

Todd(thoughts): Turk's bummed, he definitely needs a high five, but which one?? Tough break five, chin up five, need a hug five, need a tuck five..? What the hell is he saying?? Never mind just take the last words he says and add a five to it.
Turk: .... I dunno man, it all seems kinda unfair.
Todd: Unfair five.
Turk: Thanks man, you always know the right thing to say.
Todd: I work hard on that.

J.D.: [voiceover] I knew Dr. Casey now pretty well, everyday he goes to his first patient's room and touches every single thing in there...
Dr. Kevin Casey: [touching things] Bink, Bink, Bink, Bink, Bink...
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Casey, your patients are complaining about a noise in your wing.
Dr. Kevin Casey: [pokes Dr. Kelso on the nose] Bink.
Dr. Kelso: Dr. CASEY! Your patients!
Dr. Kevin Casey: If the noise is bink then I can explain...
Dr. Kelso: IT'S NOT BINK!

Dr. Kelso: I got you a present for your trip to Mexico. It's my old Spanish to English dictionary. I don't need it anymore, I've mastered the language.
Dr. Clock: Gracias, Señor.
Dr. Kelso: You're welcomo.

Dr. Cox: I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Lemme see, uhh... Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, 'The O.C.', the U.N., recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host! Everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everything everything - eve - everything that exists - past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions... Oh! And Hugh Jackman.
JD: Hugh Jackman's Wolverine! How dare he.

Kelso: And why are you standing here doing nothing?"
Janitor: I know this is a slowdown, but...I cant' really work any slower than I normally do, so I pretty much have to come to a complete stop. Now, If you're asking why I'm standing here, specifically, it's because, I replaced that light bulb with a tanning bulb. I'm tired of being the only white guy at my mosque.

Janitor: Knife-Wrench!!! For kids...

Dr.Cox: What with Barbie here being ridiculously book-smart to the point where she has almost no interpersonal skills and you being warm and cuddly as an un-potty trained labradoodle and about as useful in high-stress medical situations as an un-potty trained labradoodle, *together* the two of you make one barely passable doctor... slash labradoodle.

Janitor: You know, loose debris can get sucked up into the air conditioning vents. And when that happens, I have to spend the entire day crawling around inside the wall, and I don't like that. You know why? 'Cause there's not enough air. I spent a day inside that wall thinking I was a mermaid. So here's the thing: you don't throw around loose trash, and I won't have to waste an entire workday granting the wishes of imaginary fisherman. 'Kay?

The Todd: Oh, Ms. Pac-Man, I would sex that bow right off your head. Eat those dots, you naughty, naughty girl.

Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: I think you mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Whassup!

Dr. Cox: Carla, I have a six-month-old child. I'm gonna be one of those weird old guys who brings my son down to the park, where everybody is like, Hmm, is he the dad? Is he the grand-dad? Is he the grand-dad's grand-dad? And, oh, my God! Why is he pushing a traffic cone on the swing while his five-year-old little boy is in the mud crying? Is--is he taunting the little boy? No! He can't even see the little boy! And, now look, he's actually taking the traffic cone, putting it in the mini-van, and driving away while the little boy cries and the traffic cone sits quietly and watches 'Finding Nemo' on DVD.


Bored, at work, loving Scrubs. This is a tribute. I dunno what to say... :D