Roses smell like poo

NB!
Yeh be warned that boredome with a slight touch of madness awaits you below. Keep on reading at your own risk.

! >Bing< !

Blimey, I think I just woke up! And damn, it feels like I've been sleeping on hard, cold concrete floor.

I've just re-discovered that life isn't all that simple.
For a while now, I've been living in a dream. Or, not exactly a dream... I've been elsewhere mentally or something. 
I don't know how to describe it. D'you know what I mean?
It hasn't been all lovely and stuff, but it's just been quite easy and new and exciting and there wasn't too much I could've done to improve it..... I don't think. Or there probably was, but I didn't realise and now it's laughing it's arse off at me.

Gahh... I'm really frustrated and confused at the moment and it's doing my head in!!!!! And at the same time I don't know... I don't know. It don't matter... I don't know.
I wish there was someone who could just freeze time and everything going on around me and explain to me what the bloody hell is going on and why. D'you know what I mean?!
Good thing though is that I've got the best mates in the world!

I hate feeling vulnerable. It sucks!
I thought: It's gonna be different this time! Give it a go!
Fuck that.
I dunno... I just really wanted it to be different this time.
Fucking chicken-shit! Get a grip! I know, I know... Is it even worth it?! Probably not.
Sorry, this is a shitload of proper bollocks!!!!!
I just had to clear my mind cos it's been filling up with a lot of that lately. D'you know what I mean...?

Tomorrow. New day. Decision day.

A philosopher once spoke of how making decisions help you grow up. Well, if that's the case; Fuck it! I'll just stay like this forever then... What ever. You're a wanker  anyway...

Moget, jag vet... Moget att säga moget när du menar omoget!

I don't even know if this is what I really think. Maybe I don't even care!? As I said. This is just bollocks, and everything puzzles and confuses me at the moment! You're wasting your time reading it!!!


One thing's for sure though,
I hate having the ball on my side! If there even is a ball... Well, if there is a ball, I want to kick it so bloody hard that it  disappears into a dark forest full of prickly bushes and werewolves that'll tear it up and leave it there to rot for a thousand years until one day some men in orange jumpsuits that stink of tobacco and sweat cut all the trees and prickly bushes down and build a public loo at the very same spot where the remnants of the ball that was once kicked still lie.
Hate that fucking ball...


Let's just say that I'm the philosopher now! And let's leave it at that.











(And, yeah. I am feeling better now.)